i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
