i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
