Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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