Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize