my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
