Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize