There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
