Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
