I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
worst night to have a conscience
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
