Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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