Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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