He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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