apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
