Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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