I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
