I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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