I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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