FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
