Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
