Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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