just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
