Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize