I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize