Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize