The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
