Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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