Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
When did angry sex become our thing?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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