he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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