Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize