If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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