look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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