ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
