so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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