yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
