in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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