He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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