all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
