Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Drunk is not a location!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
