Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
