remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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