HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
