Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
