is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
