Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
