My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
