Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
