Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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