He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
