Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
