Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You can't motorboat a personality
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
