i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I cut my penus on the lid.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
