I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
