I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
