I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
