So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
