so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize