i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
