Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize