i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
