Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
