You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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