even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Mom said you looked used
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
