her facebook's as public as her vagina
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize